This play was created with the following prompts: museum storage, influencer, photographer, lucky
Setting: The storage room of a large museum. Dusk.
At Rise: PHOTOGRAPHER is walking around placing objects in different lighting and taking pictures with a DSLR camera. An INFLUENCER wearing a glittery outfit enters carrying a bag.
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INFLUENCER: Oh my God! This is not what I expected. Where’s the cute stuff? There’s no cute stuff.
PHOTOGRAPHER: That’s sad for you. Now go away. All your glittery clothes are messing up my lighting.
(INFLUENCER waves their arms and legs.)
INFLUENCER: Wow. That is amazing.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Stop that! I’m doing serious photography here.
INFLUENCER: (mocking) I’m a serious photographer doing serious photography.
(INFLUENCER looks at the vase that PHOTOGRAPHER is photographing.)
INFLUENCER: Is that a dog eating a horse on that Ming vase? Oh, that is serious.
PHOTOGRAPHER: No. That is an illustration of the spirit of Meng Tian.
INFLUENCER: Whatever. Your camera must take really good pictures.
PHOTOGRAPHER: (sarcastically) Yes. It’s just the camera. I have no skills or talent whatsoever.
INFLUENCER: Same. But no one cares. I have three million followers on Youtube and six million on TikTok. I can’t even dance. I have no rhythm. Five dance instructors told me that.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Lucky you. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve really gotta finish my work. I have a deadline to get these artifacts photographed for the museum website.
INFLUENCER: Can you take my picture?
PHOTOGRAPHER: If it will make you leave me alone.
INFLUENCER: Sure.
(INFLUENCER takes out wigs and other costumes from her bag.)
PHOTOGRAPHER: What are you doing?
INFLUENCER: I’m getting ready.
(PHOTOGRAPHER snaps behind the scenes pictures of INFLUENCER getting ready.)
INFLUENCER: I’m not ready yet!
PHOTOGRAPHER: You look great. There you go.
(INFLUENCER looks at the photo.)
INFLUENCER: I look terrible.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Photoshop it and put a filter on it.
(INFLUENCER starts recording narration for post about the photo.)
INFLUENCER: Hi! I’m showing you all the unvarnished real version of myself right now. Celebrate your “you” every day. Honors the–
PHOTOGRAPHER: I really need to focus here, so I’d appreciate it if you leave.
INFLUENCER: Fine. I’m going, but you could be nicer.
(INFLUENCER looks at PHOTOGRAPHER’s pictures.)
You know, this vase would look a lot better if you put it here.
(INFLUENCER moves the vase.)
And if you add this rug to the background. It will really make it pop.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Don’t touch that! Hey…it does look better.
INFLUENCER: See! I do know what I’m doing sometimes.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Thank you. This is actually my first job. I only got the gig because my cousin’s the museum director. I dropped out of business school.
INFLUENCER: You know, I am looking for a new assistant. Josie, my last assistant, quit because she got on The Bachelor.
PHOTOGRAPHER: How much do you pay?
INFLUENCER: Nothing, but you get a percentage of the sponsorship endorsements. Though sometimes that means you just end up with cases of protein powder or leggings.
PHOTOGRAPHER: I have been wanting to put on some muscle.
THE END.