This play was created using the following prompts: candy store, sailor, lighthouse keeper
Setting: A candy store in a village by the sea a few hundreds ago. Morning.
At Rise: LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER is tasting saltwater taffy. SAILOR enters looking very tired.
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SAILOR: Thank you very much.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: (sucks on saltwater taffy) What?
SAILOR: You. I hate you.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: What did I ever do to you?
SAILOR: You didn’t keep the lamp on and I had to wait ‘til morning to dock.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: It was clear last night and there was a supermoon. Shouldn’t have had to worry about getting caught on the rocks. And you’ve sailed into this harbor hundreds of times.
SAILOR: Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should. If you weren’t married to my sister, you would’ve gotten a thrashing from me long ago.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: I don’t care if you are Constance’s favorite brother.
SAILOR: I’m her only brother. All my other brothers are dead thanks to you.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: I saved your life. Twice in fact! See if I ever rescue you again.
SAILOR: Eat your candy and get out of here before I do something.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: Fine. But you better not buy out all the peanut butter cups again. I’m warning you, leave some for me.
SAILOR: You know, we don’t have to play this song and dance every time.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: What do you mean?
SAILER: You could just keep the lamp on and I won’t buy all the peanut butter cups.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: But this is what we do. It’s the basis of our entire relationship.
SAILOR: Maybe we could be friends? We could have family suppers. Go fishing.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: I don’t know about that. I’m pretty set in my ways once a pattern’s been established.
SAILOR: Look, all I’m asking is one little light on so that your sister’s favorite brother, her only brother doesn’t perish like the rest of them.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: I wouldn’t turn off the lamp if I didn’t think you could handle yourself.
SAILOR: Do you want your peanut butter cups or what?
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: Yes.
SAILOR: Do we have a deal?
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: Fine. But I need to be mean to you in some other way.
SAILOR: How about every time I come home you get to steal one of my favorite pairs of socks?
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: Ooh…I have been admiring the wool ones from the North. Those sheep must be eating all organic food.
SAILOR: Everything is organic. It’s seventeen forty-eight.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER: Where did the peanut butter cups come from then?
SAILOR: I don’t know.
(A sting as the LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER and SAILOR stare out to the audience.)
THE END.
Photo Credit: “Portland Head Light,” Mohan Nannapaneni, 2020