The following letter can be used as an acting exercise, a reader’s theatre exercise, or as a performance piece!
Dear Ms. Noon,
This notice is to inform you that you are a beneficiary of the estates of Frederick Moses Mann. Frederick Moses Mann appreciated the care you took frothing the milk in his biweekly latte at Peet’s Coffee. Attached is the official Notices to Heirs document.
NOTICE TO HEIRS
Per the last will and testament of Frederick Moses Mann your receipt of the inheritance is contingent on the following stipulations:
- Be present at the biannual international lion dance festival;
- Take at least one fut san and one hok san workshop at the festival
- Marry a citizen of Belgium within two years of the next biannual lion dance festival;
- Take Mr. Cedric Fluffington for at least six walks daily through the grounds;
- Wear refurbished barefoot shoes at least five days a week;
- On days when not wearing refurbished barefoot shoes, wear six-inch platform heels in either buff or purple;
- Refrain from consuming vegetables from the nightshade family except on the full moon;
- Open a food truck that serves waffles.
If you are able to meet all of the requirements above, you will receive:
- A goat named Harry (Note: This is not the same as Cedrick Fluffington from stipulation no. 3 above. Cedrick is cat and he cannot be “owned” by anyone);
- Lifetime membership to the Museums of Modern Art in New York and San Francisco;
- Lifetime box seats to a performing arts center of your choice;
- Free shipping from the Container Store and Snappy Jack’s Rib Shack;
- A two-bedroom townhouse in Bakersfield, California;
- Ten-million dollars.
If you have any questions or wish to dispute this notice, please refer to Case Number 8675309 at the Cook County Courthouse.
We are sorry for your loss.
Sincerely,
Harriet Burbage Banks, Esquire
Shah, Banks, Babcock, and Wang, Attorneys at Law
Photo Credit: Wiroj, “Lion Dance,” 2016
Very very funny!!
I laughed out load numerous times!!
Glad you enjoyed it! We’ll be using the letter in the next class!
Thanks for sharing your hilarious post!!